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If you are in immediate danger, please call:
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For further help, contact:
Women’s Refuge: National Helpline - Crisis line: 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 Child, Youth and Family Line: 0508 FAMILY or 0508 326 459 Family Violence Information Line: 0800 456 450 (available 9.00am -11.00pm daily) |
Featured |
| Featured articles are eventually moved to News or Resource Pages.
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She is Not Your Rehab
Throughout the COVID19 quarantine this last month, as domestic violence continues to spike all around the world, we have received hundreds of messages coming through to us from men who are really struggling. We made one of these letters into THIS video:
PLEASE SHARE + SPREAD THE WORD If you struggle with violence + you long to heal then I am here to hold space for you. 
Three Methods of Conscious Breathing - to help with Stress & Anxiety.
The shadow family violence pandemic - and the link to animal abuse
By Bianka Atlas - Read Full Story HERE Evidence shows domestic violence increases during and after economic crises and pandemics. There is increasing anecdotal evidence that while government-imposed lockdowns are helping to contain Covid-19, a "shadow pandemic" is proliferating. Animals do not feature in recent reports of escalating domestic violence worldwide, despite frequently being victims of violence themselves. Companion animals provide vital emotional support and may be the only source of trusted companionship and love in an abusive relationship. With half the world's population currently under some form of lockdown, Covid-19 presents additional risks to already-vulnerable humans and animals. Physical distancing measures increase social isolation and victims may struggle to access support or get respite from violence outside of the home. Lockdowns provide unique ways for abusers to exert control over victims, including withholding medical assistance or financial resources, and restricting access to food or essential sanitary items. There are even reports of abusers withholding soap or showers, and forbidding handwashing. Statistics released by the New Zealand police showed a 20 percent spike in domestic violence cases on the first Sunday after the country entered level 4 lockdown. Women's Refuge has reported increased demand in more than 60 percent of its shelters. Services for men who fear they might commit abuse have also received increased calls during the lockdown. 
'The Link' - pets in the context of domestic violence
The link between domestic violence and animal abuse is well established. An Australian study found 53 percent of women entering a shelter reported their pets had also been harmed. In Canada, a study revealed animal maltreatment was present in as many as 89 percent of domestic violence cases. Research indicates there is an increased risk of severe or fatal injury where domestic violence and animal abuse co-occur in a household. Abusers use animals as a tool of abuse. Acts of violence towards animals are commonly inflicted in the presence of human victims to control, punish, or intimidate. Many women delay or refuse to leave an abusive relationship due to fears for the safety of animals left with the abuser and because most shelters cannot accommodate animals. A New Zealand survey of women whose pets were abused as part of domestic violence revealed that 53 percent delayed leaving a violent relationship out of fear for their pet's safety and 73 percent would have found it easier to leave if there was a shelter offering temporary accommodation for their pets. |
Tools for Getting Through LockdownThink Ladder
Thinkladder is a New Zealand based startup working on providing wellness tools. Right now we have turned our attention to working on specific insights and practices for those suffering due to Covid19. So far we have contributions from over 50 mental wellness professionals around the world. Thinkladder’s unique tools are designed to help you rewrite the script in your subconscious mind. When we replace our limiting beliefs it changes our old thought patterns which helps us feel better and do better. As we practice these new beliefs and actions with focused concentration and perseverance, they become our new normal. Mentemia
Mentemia is an app that coaches mental wellbeing. Free to all New Zealanders. We’ve all got mental health - how’s yours? So maybe you’ve got a business plan. A nutrition plan. A financial plan. A fitness plan. But what about a mental wellbeing plan? With that in mind, the Mentemia journey began with a clear goal. Everybody better, every day. Rather than being the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff - Mentemia is packed with evidence-based ideas and tools to help you learn how to be well, and stay well. It helps you deal with the most common stressors we experience in the modern connected world today - poor sleep, anxiety and stress. These stressors, if left unattended, can significantly impact your quality of life at home and work. With Mentemia, you’ll discover what things can help you feel more energised, more productive, and better equipped for whatever the world throws at you today. 
Staying on Track
Our new Staying on Track course, along with the resources on this webpage, have been created to support New Zealanders with their mental and emotional wellbeing through this time of uncertainty. This free online course introduces easy-to-use, practical strategies to cope with the stress and disruption of day-to-day life as an impact of COVID-19. The course will teach you how to support your mental and emotional health through learning how to look after your worry and choose behaviours that will help you and your whānau stay on track. 
Melon
A safe space to connect and support each other with self-care resources for our emotional wellbeing. In this unusual time, finding ways to manage our days at home will be really important. Our thoughts, actions and behaviours will help us get through. This community is made up of people like you as well as support workers, gathered in one place to walk alongside you and get through this together. Join us. What to expect on Melon
Preventing and responding to family, whānau and sexual violence during COVID-19
Ngā Wai a Te Tūī Māori and Indigenous Research Centre and the New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse are partnering to provide information on preventing and responding to family, whānau and sexual violence during COVID-19
Experience in New Zealand and internationally has shown that family violence (including intimate partner violence, child abuse and elder abuse) and sexual violence can escalate during and after large-scale disasters or crises. The current COVID-19 pandemic also brings specific risks. Self-isolation can mean the risk of more severe violence from a partner, family member or other household member. Victims may also experience challenges to connecting with supportive people or accessing help in usual ways. Specialist family violence and sexual violence services, NGOs, communities and government agencies are working together to provide information and services. Family violence and sexual violence services are essential services and will remain available at Alert Level 4, even if services need to be delivered in different ways. It is okay to ask for help if you or someone else is in danger. Helplines are available. Talk to friends, whānau and neighbours if you need support, or to see if they need help. If you think someone is in immediate danger of being harmed or may harm themselves, call the Police on 111. Visit the WEBPAGE to find information on family violence, sexual violence and COVID-19 in one place. Some pages are still under construction. All are being regularly updated. We continue to add to them daily. 
We are living through history - soooo . . .
Why not create at Covid 2020 Time Capsule to remind you of this time in history in years to come. An activity for you and are Whanau - here is the PDF to download. If you can't print it out copy the headings into your own special noteboard. 
New report and webinar from Family Violence Death Review Commitee: Men who use violence
Mon 04 May 2020 Men who use violence | Ngā tāne ka whakamahi i te whakarekereke provides an overview of the lives of 97 men who used violence against their intimate partners between 2009 and 2017, as captured in the Committee’s database. The report intentionally focuses on missed opportunities to change the pattern of men’s development and the impact of these ineffective responses on their violent behaviour. It also focuses on structural changes needed to prevent family violence. "Currently professionals receive little training to work with men who use violence. In a context where few community resources are available for men who want to stop using violence, professionals have very limited support for working with men. This report does not offer one, consistent story for the men it covers. Instead, it begins to address the lack of training and resourcing by setting out some key principles and findings to support agencies in working with men." READ the full article HERE |
CLICK HERE - Top tips for looking after mental health and wellbeing during COVID-19 and beyond.
Download a list of where to go for Mental Health help in Nelson/Marlborough HERE
Download a list of where to go for Mental Health help in Nelson/Marlborough HERE
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Jackson Katz asks a very important question that gets at the root of why sexual abuse, rape and domestic abuse remain a problem: What's going on with men?
Why you should listen and share.
Jackson Katz is an educator, author, filmmaker and cultural theorist who is a pioneer in the fields of gender violence prevention education and media literacy. He is co-founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP), which enlists men in the struggle to prevent men’s violence against women. Celebrating its 20th anniversary this year, MVP has become a widely used sexual and domestic violence prevention initiative in college and professional athletics across North America. Katz and his MVP colleagues have also worked extensively with schools, youth sports associations and community organizations, as well as with all major branches of the U.S. military. Katz is the creator of popular educational videos including Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity. He is the author of The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help and Leading Men: Presidential Campaigns and the Politics of Manhood. He has also appeared in several documentaries, including Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes and MissRepresentation. 
The Male Room
The Male room is all about offering hope when you have little left of your own. We are here to help you make changes and to sort out the challenges and issues you maybe facing. At the Male Room, we are against all violence towards men, women, and children. We work with families, and as such regardless of gender, race, orientation or creed, we will do our utmost to deliver the best possible service for the situation and individual and family. Primary Services
NZers Talking about Family Violence
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4 Ways Parents Teach Kids that Consent Doesn’t Matter
Men’s organizations working to end violence against women, children and other men:
International and online groups:
Source & More Detailed Information HERE 
Organizations dedicated to sexual and domestic violence:
International and online groups:
Source & More Detailed Information HERE 
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READING FOR RESILIENCE - BOOK LIST
Together with the Marlborough Libraries we’ve come up with another great list of books on Resilience! You can find it here: READING FOR RESILIENCE. Available from the Blenheim Library 😊 |
This month's Kiwi Can Theme 
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