In Danger? Emergency?

​If you are in immediate danger, please call:
Emergency Services, call ​111
For further help, contact: 

Women’s Refuge: National Helpline - Crisis line: 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843
Child, Youth and Family Line: 0508 FAMILY or 0508 326 459
Family Violence Information Line: 0800 456 450  (available 9.00am -11.00pm daily)
Family Services Directory: A directory of service providers that can help you and your family
Supporting Families Marlborough: Mental Health & Addiction Services
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Featured 
|  Featured articles are eventually moved to News or Resource Pages.
Urgent Message
GUMBOOT FRIDAY
Needs all those who care about the mental health of our children to share this video on social media. Do you care enough to help?

Mike King 'really disappointed' by $940k raised on Gumboot Friday, wants to host another appeal in November
A beleaguered Mike King says he's "really disappointed" by the $943,000 raised during June's Gumboot Friday appeal - a total he says the mental health service will churn through in just three months.

In a video posted, the former comedian announced he plans to host a second Gumboot Friday event in November should his post get 50,000 shares, which he believes would prove there's enough buy-in from Kiwis to make it worthwhile.
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​Full Story HERE
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Active Dads Marlborough

​Free activities aimed at Dads/Father figures and their children (aged up to 8 years) organised by Barnardos Marlborough.
  • Movie trips
  • Outdoor Adventures
  • Cooking Sessions
  • Pizza in the Park
  • Educational events
  • for Dads & more
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​If you have a child or children 8 years and under and want more information or to register in the activities please contact us on:
EM: ActiveDadsMarlborough@barnardos.org.nz
PH: 03 578 6491
FB: ActiveDadsMarlborough
WB: barnardos.org.nz  ​
active-dads-flyer-dl.pdf
File Size: 1261 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

24-hour walk around Hagley Park to help male victims of domestic violence
By Samantha Mythen

​Starting at 7am on Wednesday, 2019 mayoral candidate Stephen McPaike began his 24-hour walk around South Hagley Park, clocking up about 108km, in the name of stopping violence against men.

McPaike’s Walk for Help aimed to raise awareness about men who are victims of domestic abuse and raise funds to assist with their recovery.

You can donate via McPaike's Givealittle page. 

McPaike, who works at Mitre 10 Mega Ferrymead, was inspired to begin the project after a man trapped in an abusive relationship reached out to him during the level 4 lockdown.

They had been chatting over the phone when the man’s partner entered the room and began physically abusing him. He was taken to hospital for his injuries. McPaike said he helped the man leave his relationship and build a new life for himself.

Full Story HERE in the Otago Daily Times.
Breaking Silence - Stuff interactive - Stories of hope and survival beyond domestic abuse

Everyone has the right to safety yet this is not the reality for 1 in 3 women in New Zealand. At some point in their life, they will experience physical or psychological abuse from an intimate partner.

Eight Episodes - Eight True Stories

​https://interactives.stuff.co.nz/2020/06/breaking-silence/
Tips for online Safety

Sharon Armstrong (Ngati Kahungunu) is a justice worker, author and public speaker.  She has shared her experience of romance fraud in her book ‘Organised Deception’, launched in March 2018, to highlight the many issues that victims of fraud face. 
She advocates for victims/survivors and their families who have been exploited in some way by scammers and is working to get legislative change made in Aotearoa to protect victims of this type of fraud.
By using her experience as an example for others, she hopes to show that anyone can overcome adversity.  We just need time to rise above it and grow from the experience.

http://www.communityresearch.org.nz/sharon-armstrong-staying-safe-and-well-in-isolation/
LIVE LINKS BELOW
How to register for a group:
Contact Paul Martin, Nelson Marlborough Health Suicide Prevention Coordinator:
Email: everylifematters@nmdhb.govt.nz or phone 03 548 2798 ext 5
 
For more information:
Talk to Paul (contact details above) or read about the programme here: https://www.skylight.org.nz/build-resilience/waves
Three Methods of Conscious Breathing - to help  with Stress & Anxiety.
​https://www.wimhofmethod.com
The shadow family violence pandemic - and the link to animal abuse
By Bianka Atlas - Read Full Story HERE

Evidence shows domestic violence increases during and after economic crises and pandemics. There is increasing anecdotal evidence that while government-imposed lockdowns are helping to contain Covid-19, a "shadow pandemic" is proliferating.

Animals do not feature in recent reports of escalating domestic violence worldwide, despite frequently being victims of violence themselves. Companion animals provide vital emotional support and may be the only source of trusted companionship and love in an abusive relationship.

With half the world's population currently under some form of lockdown, Covid-19 presents additional risks to already-vulnerable humans and animals.
Physical distancing measures increase social isolation and victims may struggle to access support or get respite from violence outside of the home.

Lockdowns provide unique ways for abusers to exert control over victims, including withholding medical assistance or financial resources, and restricting access to food or essential sanitary items. There are even reports of abusers withholding soap or showers, and forbidding handwashing.

Statistics released by the New Zealand police showed a 20 percent spike in domestic violence cases on the first Sunday after the country entered level 4 lockdown. Women's Refuge has reported increased demand in more than 60 percent of its shelters. Services for men who fear they might commit abuse have also received increased calls during the lockdown.
'The Link' - pets in the context of domestic violence

The link between domestic violence and animal abuse is well established. An Australian study found 53 percent of women entering a shelter reported their pets had also been harmed. In Canada, a study revealed animal maltreatment was present in as many as 89 percent of domestic violence cases. Research indicates there is an increased risk of severe or fatal injury where domestic violence and animal abuse co-occur in a household. Abusers use animals as a tool of abuse. Acts of violence towards animals are commonly inflicted in the presence of human victims to control, punish, or intimidate.

Many women delay or refuse to leave an abusive relationship due to fears for the safety of animals left with the abuser and because most shelters cannot accommodate animals. A New Zealand survey of women whose pets were abused as part of domestic violence revealed that 53 percent delayed leaving a violent relationship out of fear for their pet's safety and 73 percent would have found it easier to leave if there was a shelter offering temporary accommodation for their pets.
Family and sexual violence government venture:
​Auditor-General finds shortcomings
Read the full story HERE on RNZ 
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Set up in 2018, the joint venture is meant to change the way government agencies and Māori work together to bring down the country's persistently high rates of violence against children and intimate partners.

Auditor-General John Ryan has carried out a performance audit and said that while the initiative had been effective in some areas, there had been only limited changes in the way government agencies worked together.

"To achieve transformational change, everyone involved, from ministers to agency staff, needs to have a clear, shared understanding of what they are seeking to achieve, their respective roles and accountabilities, and what this means in practice," Ryan's report said.

"Those involved in the joint venture need to devote time and effort to achieving and maintaining the clarity of purpose, support, and cohesive effort needed to achieve this change."

Ryan was particularly concerned about how the joint venture was working with Māori.
Marlborough Youth Connect and get Support - Ages 12-24
www.myt.org.nz/whats-on.html
She is Not Your Rehab

Throughout the COVID19 quarantine this last month, as domestic violence continues to spike all around the world, we have received hundreds of messages coming through to us from men who are really struggling.

We made one of these letters into THIS video:
  • Dear Matt,
    This lockdown is doing my head in.
    I feel like a caged animal and things aren’t going too well with the Mrs either. I read something you said about sitting with your anger so I did that last night....

PLEASE SHARE + SPREAD THE WORD
If you struggle with violence + you long to heal then I am here to hold space for you.

See Matt's TED Talk on our MEN's Page

Tools  for   Getting Through   Lockdown

Think Ladder
Thinkladder is a New Zealand based startup working on providing wellness tools. Right now we have turned our attention to working on specific insights and practices for those suffering due to Covid19. So far we have contributions from over 50 mental wellness professionals around the world.
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Thinkladder’s unique tools are designed to help you rewrite the script in your subconscious mind. When we replace our limiting beliefs it changes our old thought patterns which helps us feel better and do better. As we practice these new beliefs and actions with focused concentration and perseverance, they become our new normal.
Mentemia 
Mentemia is an app that coaches mental wellbeing. Free to all New Zealanders.
We’ve all got mental health - how’s yours?  So maybe you’ve got a business plan. A nutrition plan. A financial plan. A fitness plan. But what about a mental wellbeing plan?

With that in mind, the Mentemia journey began with a clear goal. 

Everybody better, every day. 

Rather than being the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff - Mentemia is packed with evidence-based ideas and tools to help you learn how to be well, and stay well. It helps you deal with the most common stressors we experience in the modern connected world today - poor sleep, anxiety and stress. These stressors, if left unattended, can significantly impact your quality of life at home and work. 

With Mentemia, you’ll discover what things can help you feel more energised, more productive, and better equipped for whatever the world throws at you today. 
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Staying on Track
Our new Staying on Track course, along with the resources on this webpage, have been created to support New Zealanders with their mental and emotional wellbeing through this time of uncertainty.

This free online course introduces easy-to-use, practical strategies to cope with the stress and disruption of day-to-day life as an impact of COVID-19.

The course will teach you how to support your mental and emotional health through learning how to look after your worry and choose behaviours that will help you and your whānau stay on track.
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Melon
A safe space to connect and support each other with self-care resources for our emotional wellbeing. In this unusual time, finding ways to manage our days at home will be really important. Our thoughts, actions and behaviours will help us get through. This community is made up of people like you as well as support workers, gathered in one place to walk alongside you and get through this together. Join us.

What to expect on Melon
  • Health Journal (Rātaka)
  • Check how you’re doing
  • Coping tools (Mātauranga)
  • Community Support (Pāpori)
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​Preventing and responding to family, whānau and sexual violence during COVID-19
Ngā Wai a Te Tūī Māori and Indigenous Research Centre and the New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse are partnering to provide information on preventing and responding to family, whānau and sexual violence during COVID-19
​
Experience in New Zealand and internationally has shown that family violence (including intimate partner violence, child abuse and elder abuse) and sexual violence can escalate during and after large-scale disasters or crises. The current COVID-19 pandemic also brings specific risks. Self-isolation can mean the risk of more severe violence from a partner, family member or other household member. Victims may also experience challenges to connecting with supportive people or accessing help in usual ways.

Specialist family violence and sexual violence services, NGOs, communities and government agencies are working together to provide information and services. Family violence and sexual violence services are essential services and will remain available at Alert Level 4, even if services need to be delivered in different ways. It is okay to ask for help if you or someone else is in danger. Helplines are available. Talk to friends, whānau and neighbours if you need support, or to see if they need help. If you think someone is in immediate danger of being harmed or may harm themselves, call the Police on 111.

Visit the WEBPAGE to find information on family violence, sexual violence and COVID-19 in one place. Some pages are still under construction. All are being regularly updated. We continue to add to them daily.
We are living through history - soooo . . .

Why not create at Covid 2020 Time Capsule to remind you of this time in history in years to come.

An activity for you and are Whanau - here is the PDF to download.
If you can't print it out copy the headings into your own special noteboard.
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CLICK HERE - Top tips for looking after mental health and wellbeing during COVID-19 and beyond. 
​Download a list of where to go for Mental Health help in Nelson/Marlborough HERE
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Jackson Katz asks a very important question that gets at the root of why sexual abuse, rape and domestic abuse remain a problem: What's going on with men?
Why you should listen and share.
Jackson Katz is an educator, author, filmmaker and cultural theorist who is a pioneer in the fields of gender violence prevention education and media literacy. He is co-founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP), which enlists men in the struggle to prevent men’s violence against women. Celebrating its 20th anniversary this year, MVP has become a widely used sexual and domestic violence prevention initiative in college and professional athletics across North America. Katz and his MVP colleagues have also worked extensively with schools, youth sports associations and community organizations, as well as with all major branches of the U.S. military.

​Katz is the creator of popular educational videos including Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity. He is the author of The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help and Leading Men: Presidential Campaigns and the Politics of Manhood. He has also appeared in several documentaries, including Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes and MissRepresentation.
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​The Male Room
The Male room is all about offering hope when you have little left of your own. We are here to help you make changes and to sort out the challenges and issues you maybe facing.

At the Male Room, we are against all violence towards men, women, and children. We work with families, and as such regardless of gender, race, orientation or creed, we will do our utmost to deliver the best possible service for the situation and individual and family.

Primary Services
  • Are you going through divorce or separation?
  • Police safety orders; how we can help
  • Domestic Violence
  • Other Services
  • Sexual Support Services
Visit the WEBSITE
NZers Talking about Family Violence
4 Ways Parents Teach Kids that Consent Doesn’t Matter
Men’s organizations working to end violence against women, children and other men:
International and online groups:
  1. MVP Strategies
    http://www.mvpstrategies.net/ (web site in development)
  2. MVP-National
    https://www.facebook.com/mvpnational?ref=ts&fref=ts
  3. MVP-Northeastern
    http://www.northeastern.edu/sportinsociety/leadership-education/mvp/

Source & More Detailed Information HERE
​Organizations dedicated to sexual and domestic violence:
International and online groups:
Source & More Detailed Information HERE
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READING FOR RESILIENCE - BOOK LIST
​Together with the Marlborough Libraries we’ve come up with another great list of books on Resilience! You can find it here:
READING FOR RESILIENCE.
Available from the Blenheim Library 😊
​This Term's Kiwi Can Theme